People who follow me know that my specialty is emotional eating, and although the majority of people who deal with weight issues are in fact emotional overeaters, there’s also a certain subset of people who are what I call emotional under-eaters.
[bctt tweet=”Emotional under-eaters are people who don’t turn to food to experience a specific feeling”] they believe can only be obtained through eating, or eating particular foods. It may sound crazy to an emotional eater, and yet it’s true – there are people who don’t eat when they’re bored, stressed, anxious, depressed, upset, sad, happy, or any other emotion. Crazy right?
I’ve been privy to both ends of the spectrum, and I’ve also worked with enough clients to realize it too. Lately it seems I keep running into women wanting to gain weight as much as those who want to lose it.
Why? Well it’s really quite obvious.
In the same way someone tries to hide or protect themselves by being overweight, someone who is underweight might be doing the same thing, subconsciously rationalizing that if they make themselves small enough, versus fat enough, no one will notice them.
In essence, instead of defying the norm of attempting to be supermodel hot by stuffing their feelings down with food and gaining too much weight, conversely they shrink themselves down to make themselves invisible, which works just as effectively at making you unnoticeable.
At the heart of it? Emotional mismanagement of feelings of unworthiness, not feeling good enough, undeserving, perfectionism, feeling rejected, unloved, scared, powerless, and the list goes on. Same as any emotional eater feels, which consequently drives them to eat.
Most people believe that if you’re an emotional eater, you must be overweight, when the reality is emotional eating doesn’t just affect people who are overweight. It’s an epidemic that affects millions of men and women, thin and overweight, who are too stressed, never had formal training in emotional intelligence and often times blame themselves when it comes to their inability to control themselves around food.
Which includes bingeing, purging, overeating, compulsively eating, or not eating enough.
But don’t hate them because they’re thin, because for many women, being too thin is just as painful as being too fat and leads to the same feelings of guilt, shame, and embarrassment that overweight women experience. Just like someone who’s too heavy, underweight women know they’re dealing with a serious problem, and aren’t sure how to handle it either.
Weight is a complex topic one way or another, and being underweight is too often overlooked or taken as seriously as being overweight. When was the last time you saw a commercial for a product that helped you gain weight? I think never.
And yet it’s an eating disorder that needs addressing just the same, in a class other than anorexia or bulimia, because it’s not necessarily about control, but rather fear, of being seen, being heard, or being noticed.
Unfortunately, their early childhood conditioning taught them to be unimportant, smaller than life and to keep their mouths shut.
If you’re one of them, or next time you see one, know that all size 0’s aren’t happy about it, and have more in common with you than you might think. Their backgrounds, stories and struggles run concurrent with many people who can’t seem to lose weight in as much as they can’t seem to gain it, and it’s just as unpleasant and challenging for them as it is for you.
Even more so, it proves we truly are one, despite our outward differences, and are all seeking the same things – love, happiness, security, and self-esteem – and we’ll forever seek them, in whatever way we know how, until we find a way to get them, even if it includes forms of self-abuse, self-neglect, or sustainable methods of emotional eating.
In our never-ending quest for health, emotional under-eating matters as much as overeating because it all boils down to the same self-destructive eating behaviors that lead to chaos in other parts of your life too. With the right help and coaching though, you can turn your life around and develop a healthy relationship with food and your body.
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Angela Minelli is an author, speaker and founder of Angela Minelli International, a heart-based global business serving purpose-driven everyday women and entrepreneurs whose self-image and weight issues are inhibiting their confidence and blocking them from pursuing their life’s passion.
Angela's joy is in taking a stand for women who are living less than ideal lives, stopped by fear and doubt, which prevents them from stepping into their innate power and delivering their God-given genius to the world. Her coaching programs and products are designed for women with busy lifestyles yet allow for powerful transformation to take place within a small segment of time.
As a natural health practitioner and digestive health specialist, Angela specializes in helping people overcome weight and energy issues through holistic, non-invasive protocols that address the root cause of their conditions, including adrenal fatigue, candida, thyroid disorders, and more.
Explore the ideals that are the cornerstone of her work at angelaminelli.com.