Recently I gained a few pounds, enough to go up almost a whole pants size. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me, especially since I teach weight loss, so what did I do?
Let’s start with what I didn’t do:
- call myself a loser with no willpower
- panic
- engage in negative self-talk about how I have no self-control
- hit the gym excessively and cut out all my favorite foods
- tell myself I’m a slob who’s fat, ugly and lazy
- go to a diet center
- get depressed
Gaining weight was a clue my body was giving me to get my attention. About what though? Therein lies the rub…
Things were out of sorts, but I wasn’t fully aware of it. I'd been going along blindly, not realizing what was happening around me. As much as I know about losing weight, through my own experience and that of my clients, I find that there is always another layer if we haven’t figured it out yet.
In this case, there were a number of factors at play that were influencing my results.
1) My body desperately wanted me to move more so it used weight as a way to get me to notice. Straight up, I just wasn't doing enough. Anything really! I need to move. I require it. It feels good when I do, but sometimes – especially in the winter – I get lazy. I'm more of a hermit, and all I want to do is stay in. Which for me, means curling up on the couch with a book and my cat, and doing nothing!
2) I had more sugar in my diet than I was willing to admit.
3) I’ve been dealing with metabolic syndrome for years and didn’t know it.
4) I started eating gluten and dairy again. I'd been triggered emotionally, and didn't catch it, and I wanted comfort; both are comfort foods for me, but they make me bloat. (This is a big one, especially the emotional aspect!)
5) I was stuck in negative thought patterns about what I was saying to myself when I was eating certain foods, trying on clothes and how I felt in them, and my fear about gaining weight.
6) I was eating too fast.
7) I need to detox.
8) My digestion was off due to the emotional turmoil I felt.
9) It became obvious that my summer romance had triggered an unconscious negative reaction that threw me into an old pattern of using weight for protection.
So I got to work.
I started with the most simple steps, so I cut the gluten and dairy again. It was obvious by how my body reacted that it was pleading with me to not eat them. I wasn’t so convinced eliminating them had done me any good, so I did a food challenge on each one and found that my body just can’t handle them, especially dairy.
Next, I upped my protein and fat intake which helped curb my sugar cravings, and got myself on an enzyme protocol to address metabolic syndrome as well as proper protein and fat digestion.
I've been walking more. A lot more.
I paid attention to how fast I was eating – again, and when I was skipping meals which caused aggressive hunger.
I’m starting a detox in February, and not just with food, but with particular people and places too.
I ended my relationship once I became aware that I had attracted in someone who jolted me on a subconscious level and I wound up feeling unsafe and uncertain.
Note: This one can be super sneaky, but once it became obvious, I began to rely more on my mind for protection instead of my body, in the form of fat, however this skill can only be accomplished with awareness of your core emotional drivers and often times requires coaching to master.
And lastly, I became extremely cognizant of what I was saying to myself in regards to ANYTHING related to food and my body, and I realized that this was the #1 culprit!
I had been walking around my whole life saying things to myself such as, “This carb is bad,” “I feel fat,” “Fat scares me,” “It’s not safe to be thin.”
All of it was mostly subconscious, and when I started to really examine my beliefs, it all started making sense why I would go up and down with my weight. Every time I lost weight, I was afraid I would gain it back, not to mention the fact that my body felt too vulnerable, so I would sabotage my eating and exercise routine and do exactly that – gain weight!
To the contrary, when I was overweight, I kept thinking I needed to lose weight, but the energy associated with my thoughts was very negative, or resistant, to losing weight which would prevent it no matter what I did or how hard I tried. It was only every so often that I would break through and allow weight loss to happen, therefore it would, until I got so close to my goal that my subconscious kicked in, I'd self-sabotage again, and I’d shoot back up again.
Devilish little bastard that subconscious!
Now, I could have looked at my recent results as a failure, because, after all, I got exactly what I don’t want – consciously. But very little has to do with our conscious beliefs. It’s much more about our subconscious, which is really in the driver’s seat and is based on old programming instilled from youth and early adulthood.
In the past, I would’ve definitely believed myself to be a failure, and yet this time, I chose to see it as an opportunity to learn something new and really find out what my body was trying to tell me, and it worked.
My body has already started changing. My clothes fit better. And I refuse to think one negative thought about any of it. If I do, I immediately interrupt it and think a new, positive, more empowering one, because there’s no chance my subconscious is going to outwit me this time!
(Once you have awareness, you have no excuse.)
Am I losing it all overnight? No, but I didn’t gain it overnight either. And I'm ok with however long it takes my body to respond. It’s its way, not mine, and I fully trust it will respond accordingly if I take the steps to fix things when it send me symptoms.
Most people see weight gain as failure, just like I used to, but now, I see it as just temporary defeat. It's really only a minor setback that’s easily correctable once you pinpoint the exact cause, or causes. As with anything holistic, I’m always in search of the big why, and so it goes for weight too. I get now that gaining weight is truly the best opportunity around to forge a new relationship with your body, and to get right with yourself.
Angela Minelli is an Emotional Eating Coach and Digestive Health Expert, author, speaker and founder of Angela Minelli International, a heart-based global business serving purpose-driven women entrepreneurs whose self-image and weight issues are inhibiting their confidence and blocking them from pursuing their life’s passion.
Angela's joy is in taking a stand for women who are living less than ideal lives, stopped by unnecessary fears that prevent them from stepping into their power and delivering their God-given genius to the world. As such, her coaching programs and products are designed for women with complex lifestyles yet allow for powerful transformation to take place within a small segment of time.
As a natural health practitioner, Angela specializes in helping men and women naturally balance hormones, overcome emotional eating issues, stop sugar cravings, reverse adrenal fatigue, Candida, and optimize digestion through holistic, non-invasive protocols.