Do you ever feel trapped, in a relationship, in a job, or even in the confines of your own mind?

Setting boundaries is a big topic, and means a lot to me personally, because I used to never do it.  But now, I consider it my #1 strategy to staying centered and focused so that I don’t take on anyone else's issues that aren’t mine to take on.

I don’t just mean setting boundaries with others either because sometimes it means setting them with yourself too which can otherwise lead to self-abusive behaviors including those with food if not properly addressed.

We can be so abusive to ourselves and our bodies in so many ways that the first place to start when it comes to setting appropriate boundaries might just be with the person you spend the most time with – YOU!

How often do you look in the mirror and not like what you see, and proceed to go on a tirade about how ugly or fat you are?

How many times do you put yourself down by telling yourself that you’re worthless, weak and lack enough willpower to lose weight?

Why do we become the target of our own unhappiness and dissatisfaction with ourselves?

To make matters worse, we let others do it too.

I work with a lot of women who let their significant other, mom, ex-husband, son, daughter, dad, boss or dog even manipulate them into believing that they should take responsibility for problems that aren’t theirs to take responsibility for, but they do it anyways.

As a result, they binge eat, overeat, smoke, gamble, drink, do drugs, or indulge in any other form of self-destructive behavior they can think of to relieve their stress.  Fortunately, it backfires every time because instead of relieving stress, it adds more stress, in the form of overspending, arguing, and excess fat, which really gets their attention like nothing else can!.

At the same time, because they fail to solve the problem they're trying to solve – the one that’s not theirs to solve in the first place – they ultimately feel like a failure and turn it around on themselves by abusing themselves, often with food, to fix a situation that food can’t fix.

I know very few people who are able to set and keep boundaries successfully. Setting the boundary isn’t the problem though as much as keeping the boundary is, because once someone musters up the courage to set a boundary, they're likely to cave out of fear of not being liked, encountering conflict, or being accused of being selfish, even if it’s killing them inside and their resentment over being used keeps building.

This issue applies to both personal and professional relationships.  A common tactic for companies to retain employees is by threatening them with their jobs, convincing them into thinking that working late, working unpaid overtime, or working themselves sick is a standard part of collecting a paycheck and should just be tolerated.

So then they do, and they get fat, can’t lose weight, and blame themselves, all because they’re trying to satisfy someone else instead of satisfying themselves.

For some people, it may never change, but for others, there's hope.  There are a lot of women who are tired of allowing themselves to be kicked around!  And regardless of the risk, they’re ready to stand up for themselves, which begins with setting boundaries in their lives with the people that cross them.

Setting a solid boundary is easy, if follow these 3 simple steps:

1. Talk with the offender (even if it's a boss!) and make sure they understand that although you're always willing to help, you only have so much availability.  As do you, they need to accept full responsibility for themselves.  More so, it's imperative that they take ownership of their feelings regardless of how you or anyone else chooses to react to them.  In other words, you can't save them, and if they attempt to turn their problems over to you to fix them, it's a lose-lose situation all around.
    
2. Explain to them how their behavior affects you.  If you feel responsible for someone else, it's only natural that it will show up in out-of-control behavior on your part because you're trying to fix something that's not in your power to fix, which will make you crazy!  But because you want to, you try anyways, and without realizing it, you take on responsibility that doesn't belong to you and you have no business being involved with.  It's actually incredibly disrespectful to not allow another person to handle their own affairs, so for your sake and theirs, butt out!
    
3. Once you've set the boundary, let it go!  If you find yourself back in old behavior, trying to fix things for someone else, or you find they're trying to make you feel guilty, you need to reinstate the boundary, except this time, you don't need to explain it.  You only need to do that once, and from there, it's up to them to be responsible enough to remember it and respect it.  You have every right to simply ignore them.

A safe, loving approach is best, so as to avoid hurt feelings, but expect the dynamics of the relationship to change, which will be off putting to the other party.  Maintaining your ground will be key to enforcing the boundary once you set it but be firm! 

Once you do, you'll instantly begin to release toxic emotions that get stored in fat tissue, and losing weight becomes a natural side effect. How many diet centers ever taught you that?!

[bctt tweet=”Weight loss a broad topic that encompasses many different concepts, not only one as the only way.”] Thinking outside the box and instituting newer, more holistic modalities often lead to major breakthroughs for many people!

Wait a sec!  There's one more thing!  Try my free eCourse too on how to stop emotional eating by signing up here below!

Love,
Angela

Angela Minelli is an author, speaker and founder of Angela Minelli International, a heart-based global business serving purpose-driven everyday women and entrepreneurs whose self-image and weight issues are inhibiting their confidence and blocking them from pursuing their life’s passion. 

Angela's joy is in taking a stand for women who are living less than ideal lives, stopped by fear and doubt, which prevents them from stepping into their innate power and delivering their God-given genius to the world. Her coaching programs and products are designed for women with busy lifestyles yet allow for powerful transformation to take place within a small segment of time.  

As a natural health practitioner and digestive health specialist, Angela specializes in helping people overcome weight and energy issues through holistic, non-invasive protocols that address the root cause of their conditions, including adrenal fatigue, candida, thyroid disorders, and more.  

Explore the ideals that are the cornerstone of her work at angelaminelli.com.