I got the impression growing up that the only way someone would love me was when I was perfect, and that included my body. So to gain weight was really scary to me. I literally felt like no one would want me, especially men, unless I was supermodel thin, so every time I gained weight, I panicked.
Turns out, as I got older, I realized men don't care nearly as much as we do!
Yet, when my pants all of a sudden became too tight, it sent me reeling. I would get really down on myself, and instead of buying bigger clothes, I would try to squeeze myself into a smaller size until I just couldn’t anymore. But I just couldn’t face the fact that I had packed on a few pounds and wound up opting for stretchy pants instead.
I was so uncomfortable, and looked ridiculous.
But my body knew that gaining weight was a tactic that worked to get my attention when it wanted it, and instead of realizing that fact, I went in the complete opposite direction and either ignored it and kept gaining more weight or went way overboard and went to the other extreme by over-exercising, under-eating and torturing myself overall.
I was up and down with my weight for years, and underneath it all was an enormous fear. Fear of being fat, fear of no one loving me, fear of having to buy a bigger size, fear that if I did lose weight I’d just gain it back anyways so what’s the point? In other words, fear, fear, and more fear!
My sadistic view of food and my relationship with my body was very skewed too, so much so that when I finally got what was going on and began to change it, I was fearful about giving up the belief that food was generally evil and was the sole reason I was fat!
I had come to rely on my fears I guess you could say. They had ingrained themselves into every nook and cranny of my being, and without realizing it, I counted on them, for a sense of familiarity and a perverse way of feeling safe, and when I began to challenge them, my mind didn’t like it, particularly when it came to food.
(FYI: This is also known in my book as "subconscious trickery.")
Fear's a definite force, and is not about to go away easily, and since it can be so overpowering, it’s seemingly easier to simply let it, which requires an extra degree of gusto on your part in showing it who's really boss.
By constanting switching my viewpoint to one that brought me better feeling feelings every time fear crept in, I've been able to overcome fear, at least the kind that has no basis in truth such as everything I eat will go straight to my hips. Believe me, there were plenty of times in the dead of night when fear would have a field day with me, conjuring up all kinds of outcomes that scared the pants off me, about everything from food to money to you name it, and I thought I’d never get over it, but that’s when I really had to learn how to redirect my thoughts so that I no longer succumbed to catastrophic thinking or false messages that fear inevitably brings.
When it came to my weight, it wasn’t so much the food itself as it was the beliefs I had about weight in particular, because truth be told, it matters less if you eat chocolate cake or not. What matters more is how you feel about eating it, and if you're afraid eating it will cause you to gain weight, then you most likely will.
If you’re afraid of gaining more weight if you’ve gained weight, or if you just fear gaining weight period, then there's a good chance you will do that too, because how you feel about gaining weight is stronger than your desire to lose or maintain weight.
Tweet: It's really just a fear, but the fear becomes your focus, and what you feel you make real.
Food is just food and when I eventually learned how to take my focus off of what I thought every cookie, candy or carb would do to me and instead paid attention to what my body really wanted, like eating slower, breathing more deeply, and living more, I developed a new relationship with weight and my body so that once I stopped worrying about how many calories I was eating, it started responding differently.
I've said many times before that losing weight is less of an outside job as it is an inside one, so if you're still struggling with a belief system rooted in fear, try starting there, especially if you're someone who feels like you've tried everything already. I actually got to a place with my body where I was able to let go of food fear and stopped letting it dominant every thought I had around food so that I could just eat and not worry so much about what I was eating all the time.
And if I gain weight, I realize now it’s really just a way for my body to communicate with me and there's nothing to fear as long as I pay attention to what it wants, and promptly act on it.
Once you get that intuitive nudge too, it will all make sense, and you'll know what steps to take next. It's really that simple, just so long as you're masterful at not letting fear drive all your decisions around food. So the next time you suspect food fear is in command, try doing what I did and challenge it by redirecting your thoughts to a new belief, one that supports your weight loss goals versus suppressing them.
The more you practice, the sooner it will become habit, and you'll no longer be victimized by a belief system controlled by fear, especially when it comes to food.
If you're looking for more help, feel free to grab my free 7-video eCourse on how to stop emotional eating just by clicking the box below:
Love,
Angela
Angela Minelli is an author, speaker and founder of Angela Minelli International, a heart-based global business serving purpose-driven everyday women and entrepreneurs whose self-image and weight issues are inhibiting their confidence and blocking them from pursuing their life’s passion.
Angela's joy is in taking a stand for women who are living less than ideal lives, stopped by fear and doubt, which prevents them from stepping into their innate power and delivering their God-given genius to the world. Her coaching programs and products are designed for women with busy lifestyles yet allow for powerful transformation to take place within a small segment of time.
As a natural health practitioner and digestive health specialist, Angela specializes in helping people overcome weight and energy issues through holistic, non-invasive protocols that address the root cause of their conditions, including adrenal fatigue, candida, thyroid disorders, and more.
Explore the ideals that are the cornerstone of her work at angelaminelli.com.