Have you ever felt guilty for getting mad? I have. In fact, of all the emotions we feel, the most difficult one for me to manage has always been anger.
An offshoot of fear, anger can be so ugly, and one we’re often taught to suppress. After all, it’s not ladylike, nor is it very attractive, to have an angry outburst, especially in public.
Having seen anger expressed in so many truly ugly ways as a child, I vowed to never “be that way” myself. I would’ve rather died than even slightly resemble the behavior that I loathed the most. The only problem was that instead of expressing it, I learned to repress it, which only caused it to fester and made it so that I never addressed the source of my anger in the first place.
As a result, a lot of unnecessary feelings and thinking ensued, along with a lot of unnecessary eating as my own personal form of therapy to try to deal with all the feelings I couldn’t and wouldn’t deal with. In other words, I just didn’t want to go there. It was too uncomfortable, painful and hard, and it was much easier to just let sleeping dogs lie.
But, [bctt tweet=”any emotion unreleased has to go somewhere if not out.”] I'm sure you can guess that leaves one option – IN! And for so long, I preferred doing just that. I learned early on to avoid anything I feared or didn’t know how to handle, and chose to just keep avoiding things rather than dare venture into the heart of the matter. It was my uncomfortable comfort zone. Who wants to deal with unpleasant memories or unearth old, unresolved emotions anyways?
Let’s be real. No one.
I certainly didn’t, until the pain of living the way I was living became more painful than going back in my past and doing the work I needed to do to stop turning to food every time I hated the way I felt.
Which definitely including feeling angry. A lot!
Maybe it’s my heritage, or maybe it’s just me, but I get mad at least once almost every day, and I’ve always felt guilty over it until I finally understood it’s just another emotion, just like any other, such as happiness, sadness, shame, or fear. I rarely feel guilty when I’m happy, and I never feel guilty when I’m sad or afraid, so why would I when I’m angry?
Unraveling the reasoning behind why you feel the way you feel when you do is key to altering your emotional wellbeing. It’s not always bad, it just very often may be misdirected or misunderstood. I definitely had to learn how to nurture myself in healthy, functional ways as an adult versus the ways I’d come to rely on as a kid, which mostly involved abusing food and other recreational substances and behavior from time to time.
I always knew deep down that was I was doing was deemed inappropriate, no matter how great it felt, which was when guilt set in, times a million! Therefore, it just became a natural reaction, to just about everything.
No one likes it when people get upset, despite it’s appropriateness at times. The frowns and stares alone make it not worth it! Yet it can’t be avoided. Life has a way of throwing things at you that elicit an angry response even if you want to keep your cool. And it’s ok!
All emotions are welcome, and should be seen that way, including anger. However, problems arise when you use an emotion – any emotion – to manipulate, deceive or lie, to others and ourselves. We’ve all done it. A favorite tactic of mine was to inflate a situation to make it seem worse than it was to get attention! Or, get angry to intimidate someone to get my way.
In those ways, anger IS inappropriate, but it’s not so much the emotion itself as your reaction to it. And when it drives you to eat, you have an even bigger problem on your hands than just dealing with the emotion outright.
My advice: let yourself feel EVERYTHING. Even if it’s uncomfortable, don’t turn any emotion away. It’s time to face them, all of them, else suffer the consequences, which may include emotional eating. You have to know how to manage your emotions effectively first before your eating habits, spending habits, communication skills, relationships, or any other part of your life can or will ever change for the better.
Bottom line, anger is an ok emotion. So are all of them. Once you fully integrate that understanding and can let go of the stimga associated with it, you're on your way to a much more balanced and cohesive emotional mindest.
By the way, most people who are moody are just tired. But you don't have to be! Download my free report The Top 10 Ways to Stop Feeling So Tired All the Time – Drug-Free and Naturally! and get 2x energy ASAP!
Love,
Angela
Angela Minelli is a
n author, speaker and founder of Angela Minelli International, a heart-based global business serving purpose-driven everyday women and entrepreneurs whose self-image and weight issues are inhibiting their confidence and blocking them from pursuing their life’s passion.
Angela's joy is in taking a stand for women who are living less than ideal lives, stopped by fear and doubt, which prevents them from stepping into their innate power and delivering their God-given genius to the world. Her coaching programs and products are designed for women with busy lifestyles yet allow for powerful transformation to take place within a small segment of time.
As a natural health practitioner and digestive health specialist, Angela specializes in helping people overcome weight and energy issues through holistic, non-invasive protocols that address the root cause of their conditions, including adrenal fatigue, candida, thyroid disorders, and more.
Explore the ideals that are the cornerstone of her work at angelaminelli.com.