Who’s really at the table eating when you’re eating?
Is it the adolescent you? The teenage you? The rebel? The more I work with clients and talk to people in general, I find that one of the most overlooked aspects of eating is knowing who is in charge at meal time, yet undeniably there’s more than one identity involved and determining who it is and what drives them to eat can help dissect your eating behaviors.
As a kid, I had carte blanche with food. There were some limitations, but very few, and whenever I was upset, crying or sad, food made it better. Cookies, candy and cakes were always top of the list, but almost any food would do and I learned that as long as I was eating, I wasn’t focused on how I really felt.
One day, it became very clear that I was repeating a pattern I carried with me from childhood. After an incredibly trying day, I was down, and I decided to go shopping. Food shopping. While browsing the aisles, making my selections, I stumbled upon a pack of chocolate-covered caramel pretzels and stuck them in my basket.
Almost as soon as I did, I had an immediate flashback and instantly made the connection that when I felt that same way as a kid, I was soothed by something sweet to eat to snap me out of it. When I realized it, I was shocked and yet it was so obvious. I had never noticed it before until that very moment!
There was no denying it. I wanted to feel better, and one of the ways I learned to pacify myself at a very young age, when my belief system was still developing, was with food. [bctt tweet=”Rather than feel the feelings, I focused on food instead”] and forced the feelings I wanted to not feel way down.
So often, it’s not what we eat but why we eat that fuels our need for food. The little girl in me was in dire need of comfort in that moment, because she was scared and insecure, so the adult me turned to food.
Now it makes sense, but as a child, it didn't. It was a very rote routine that became a lifelong habit. I was so oblivious to it in fact it never crossed my mind before that I wasn’t really hungry for food most times but rather attention, nurturing and love, and someone to assure me that everything would be ok.
But when no one’s around, food is.
Other times, if I’m mad, I might be the rebel and act out by eating whatever I want, knowing no one can stop me. If I feel deprived, I might binge, just like when I was a teen, trying to endure the pressure of being thin yet longing for foods I love.
The awareness I now have about my multiple personality eating disorder helps me make wiser choices with food so that my eating is less chaotic and isn’t a vain attempt to fill an emotional void – one food can never fill.
I'm also much more apt to look for non-food sources of nourishment to feed my hunger too, such as reading, writing, or walking.
Weight loss doesn’t happen in an instant. You didn’t gain weight overnight and you won’t lose it overnight either, and the true breakthroughs come in the most unexpected ways, when you’re not really expecting them at all.
When I opened myself up to approaching weight loss in a way I never had before, which was more about slowing down, breathing, relaxing, and just being ok with where I was every step of the way, not always focused on where I wanted to be, and not focused on numbers or scales, a refreshing way of connecting to my body was revealed.
And there was no going back, because my body began to resist every attempt I made to push myself, deprive myself, or neglect myself.
I finally got what people meant about the wisdom of your body, which carries so much more wisdom than your head when it comes to what it wants. For years, I ignored it, muddling through diets and workouts that I dreaded, dismissing the fact none of it ever pleased me. I fell in line with the belief that there’s only one way to weight loss, and it required struggle and misery.
What a relief it was to realize I was wrong!
Now when I sit to eat, I ask myself, “Who’s eating?” and whoever shows up takes their rightful place beside me. Although now, the adult me takes over and keeps the kid, rebel, and teen in line when it comes to what I eat so that eating is for eating only, slow, relaxed, and insanely pleasurable.
Grab your free copy of my 7-video eCourse on how to stop emotional eating here:
Love,
Angela
Angela Minelli is an author, speaker and founder of Angela Minelli International, a heart-based global business serving purpose-driven everyday women and entrepreneurs whose self-image and weight issues are inhibiting their confidence and blocking them from pursuing their life’s passion.
Angela's joy is in taking a stand for women who are living less than ideal lives, stopped by fear and doubt, which prevents them from stepping into their innate power and delivering their God-given genius to the world. Her coaching programs and products are designed for women with busy lifestyles yet allow for powerful transformation to take place within a small segment of time.
As a natural health practitioner and digestive health specialist, Angela specializes in helping people overcome weight and energy issues through holistic, non-invasive protocols that address the root cause of their conditions, including adrenal fatigue, candida, thyroid disorders, and more.
Explore the ideals that are the cornerstone of her work at angelaminelli.com.