Are you one of those people who tries to make everyone happy? If you’re reading this article, I'm guessing so!
People-pleasers know who they are. There’s no mistaking that one person you can count on, every time. But on the same hand, who can she count on?
The perpetual over-worker, the perpetual under-sleeper, the perpetually happy. But are they really? People-pleasers are perfect at pretending everything is great, but on the inside, they’re usually falling apart.
People-pleasers are the type of people who thrive on approval, and acceptance. They’ll do anything to get it. And, as often is the case with any type of behavior, it’s a pattern set up in early childhood.
Most likely, you were raised by an overbearing, domineering parent, and to win approval, you succumbed to their every demand. As kids, we don’t really have a choice. We’re wholly and unequivocally reliant on our caretakers for absolutely everything. In our quest to get our needs met, such as love, safety and security, we’ll do whatever we have to.
It’s not a bad choice as a kid. In fact, it makes total sense, because it’s a choice rooted in survival. The only problem is, once you become an adult, you no longer need to make that choice, yet you still do. The thinking patterns that you grew up with don’t change just because you physically outgrow them. You have to mentally outgrow them too.
And there’s the rub.
Changing how you think is unquestionably one of the most challenging endeavors you can undertake. Said another way, it’s not for the faint of heart. Most people would rather just stay the same instead of bothering, but staying the same only leads more of what you already have, which is usually what you don’t want.
Case in point, weight. Why are people-pleasers overweight? [bctt tweet=”The #1 reason why anyone is overweight is because of stress, and people-pleasers are no exception.”] All the stress they carry around with them trying to make everyone else happy stresses them out even more, which piles on more weight and more weight and leads to more confusion about why they’re overweight!
Not to mention, leads to serious eating disorders like overeating, binge eating, compulsive eating, and emotional eating.
People-pleasers know they’re people-pleasers, but they’re too afraid to stop being a people-pleaser because just the thought of it triggers a fear that if they’re not, they won’t be loved or accepted, and no one can live without either.
What they don’t know is, their value doesn’t come from what they do for people, it comes from who they are. Just by being themselves, they can get all the love and acceptance they could ever want or desire.
Unfortunately though, they were never taught that and instead led to believe that they had to do things for people in order to get their basic human needs of love, self-esteem and security met. Therefore, even as adults, they still operate that way out in the real world when in reality, it’s really not like that.
Note: Except perhaps to other overbearing, domineering people who are naturally abusive and demanding, just like the person who instilled those beliefs in you in the first place. Think boss, spouse, frenemy, etc.
Everyone has the same basic needs, but not everyone gets their needs met in the same unhealthy ways as people-pleasers do. It doesn’t mean you’re wrong, it just means you have work to do if you ever stand a chance of forever changing your behavior so that a yet undiagnosed aspect of your weight changes forever too.
FYI: This is the stuff the diet centers don’t teach you yet is one of the biggest culprits behind why you can’t lose weight!
You may also like my free 7-video eCourse on how to stop emotional eating which you can access just by clicking the link below! And don't forget to comment on the blog. I've got your back!
Love,
Angela
Angela Minelli is an author, speaker and founder of Angela Minelli International, a heart-based global business serving purpose-driven everyday women and entrepreneurs whose self-image and weight issues are inhibiting their confidence and blocking them from pursuing their life’s passion.
Angela's joy is in taking a stand for women who are living less than ideal lives, stopped by fear and doubt, which prevents them from stepping into their innate power and delivering their God-given genius to the world. Her coaching programs and products are designed for women with busy lifestyles yet allow for powerful transformation to take place within a small segment of time.
As a natural health practitioner and digestive health specialist, Angela specializes in helping people overcome weight and energy issues through holistic, non-invasive protocols that address the root cause of their conditions, including adrenal fatigue, candida, thyroid disorders, and more.
Explore the ideals that are the cornerstone of her work at angelaminelli.com.